Brother Can't Drive

At a charity event being sponsored by the upcoming movie, Red Line, some genius decided it was a good idea to let comedian Eddie Griffin behind the wheel of a $1.5 million Enzo Ferrari, and this is the result. The person that handed over the keys must have never watched one of Eddie's stand up routines or movies.

The car had 401 miles on it and can now be purchased for a mere $409,660.

Cowboys To Hold Public Memorial For Crazy Ray

FROM www.dallascowboys.com

IRVING, Texas - The Dallas Cowboys will pay tribute to the late Wilford "Crazy Ray" Jones, their unofficial mascot of more than 40 years, with a public memorial service at 10 a.m. (CDT) Saturday, March 24 in the Stadium Club at Texas Stadium.

Friends and fans of Crazy Ray and the Cowboys are welcome to attend Saturday's service, which is open to the general public. The Texas Stadium parking lot will open at 9 a.m., and fans will be asked to enter the parking lot located at the Gate 1 parking entrance.

Admission to the Stadium Club will be accessible at Gate 10, next to the statue of Coach Tom Landry.

Ray, 76, died Saturday morning after battling various illnesses over the years. He was a beloved icon since the Cowboys' early days, cheering the franchise on in full western wear.

The Cowboys also announced Tuesday that Ray will be honored at a 2007 regular-season home game at Texas Stadium next fall. A tribute to the team's most famous fan will be presented, and the organization will honor Ray's wife Mattie in an on-field ceremony.

The Cowboys' schedule is expected to be released within the next few weeks.

Over the years, Crazy Ray entertained Cowboys fans at Texas Stadium in his western-style get-up, complete with six-shooters in his holster, a cowboy hat and at times, galloping along with one of those stick ponies. He became as recognizable as the blue star on the Cowboys helmet, the hole in the roof and the Hail Mary.

"Our thoughts and prayers are with Mattie and the Jones family," said Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, making reference to Crazy Ray's wife Mattie of 53 years. "This is a sad day for anyone who is a follower of the Dallas Cowboys. Ray was the most dedicated, entertaining and passionate of Cowboys fans.

"He touched thousands of lives and generations of football fans. He will remain an important part of this team's heritage and family for as long as fans go to Cowboys games and feel his spirit."

Jerry Jones is not given to hyperbole when talking of Crazy Ray's national fame. He has a spot in the fans' wing of the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio, and in the hearts of Cowboys fans worldwide, all recognizing his patented whistle and the magic tricks he would perform while interacting with fans on the sideline of games. It was nothing to see Crazy Ray sparring with the Redskins' mascot in the end zone when those two NFC East rivals would play, no matter if the game was played at Texas Stadium or RFK Stadium in the nation's capital.

Ray, known to some as "Whistling Ray" for the high-pitched shrill his whistle produced, also delighted fans with the quick balloon figurines he twisted together while prowling the Texas Stadium sidelines.

The family will hold a private funeral ceremony on Thursday, and a public memorial will be held Saturday for fans to pay their final respects.

In recent months, fans showed how much they appreciated Crazy Ray over the years, helping the Joneses in various forms and fashions with charitable gestures. When the family car was stolen and found trashed, a local dealership anonymously donated the couple a car.

Then there was the house they had lived in for nearly 30 years. It was in need of total renovation. But Ray and Mattie had little money, Ray having spent a spell of time in a nursing home after his last stroke. They could not pay their bills. Utilities had been turned off.

But thanks to friend and neighbor Wayne Walker, director of video productions at Dallas Theological Seminary, who set up a charitable Web site to help the Joneses, along with a disabled veterans association program (Ray served in the Korean War) which aided with the renovation of the home, Crazy Ray and Mattie were able to move back into their home on Nov. 14 of this past year.

Many of the appliances were donated by local businesses.

Walker was quoted in a recent Dallas Observer story written by Richie Whitt, "He's such a kind, wonderful man. How can you not want to help him. I think we'd all agree he's earned it."

Donations still can be made to help the family offset funeral costs by going to www.SaveCrazyRay.com, where 100 percent of the donations are transferred directly into an account set up for the Joneses.

Along with wife Mattie, Ray is survived by two brothers, Paul Jones, 62, and Jerry Jones, 64, of the Dallas area; a sister, Eugenia Gibson, 78, of Atlanta; and two grandsons, Derrick Jackson, 38, and Darryl Jackson, 35. The daughter of Ray and Mattie Jones, Glenda, preceded him in death seven years ago.

Bon Jovi Goes Country

It appears that Bon Jovi has completely made the switch over to being a country music band. The band had a hit from a single on their last album called "Who Says You Can't Go Home?" which was definitely a country tune. Now, the band's new album, Lost Highway, which comes out in June was produced by Dann Huff. Dann also produces the country band Rascal Flats and country singer Keith Urban. Bon Jovi is performing the first single from the new album on the CMT Country Music Awards show in Nashville, and another song from the album, "We Got it Going On," is a duet with the country band Big-N-Rich.

I think it's funny that Bon Jovi was considered a "metal" band back in the 80's, but their songs always had a pop sound to them. Each of their albums got progressively softer with more ballads. Jon blew out his vocal chords a few years ago, so he can't even sing the high-pitched, rock 'n' roll style songs from the band's early days anymore, so I guess the band switching to country isn't such a huge stretch. Bon Jovi was never my favorite band, but they managed to escape the hair band stereotype and keep their careers going steadily for about 25 years. That's more than Axl Rose has ever done.

March 19: 25th Anniversay of Randy Rhodes Death

December 6, 1956 - March 19, 1982

RIP: Crazy Ray

Crazy Ray, the Dallas Cowboy's unofficial mascot since 1963 when the team played at the Cotton Bowl who endeared himself to millions of fans with his support of the Cowboys, died at his home Saturday morning.

Why couldn't it have been Rowdy?

My First Major Consumer Product

I have designed metalworking tools and other various products for years. If you drive an American automobile there is a good chance that a tool I designed was used to help make your vehicle. It's satisfying work, but I always wished I could design a product that regular people used. I've done minor work on a few kitchen products but never really anything that I considered MY design. Well, a new product is going into stores now that is MY design.

Pictured is a new V-slicer that I did a majority of the design work on. The idea was to design a slicer that worked like a mandolin but without the hassle and expense, and this is what I came up with. I can't wait to stop in a Bed Bath & Beyond or Sur La Table and see it hanging on a rack. I'll probably even be a real dork and record QVC the first time it's sold on there.

Another Take Home Chef Adult Movie

How to pick up a chick in a grocery store 101. Curtis Stone is the man.

The (Oval) Office

George Bush and Tony Blair star in The (Oval) Office. A take-off on NBC's popular show, The Office.

RIP Sinbad: Whenever you actually die.

I've had three people email me today and ask if I heard the news that the comedian, Sinbad, died of a heart attack yesterday. I went over to Find-A-Grave, but there was no info. I did a Google News search, but found nothing. I also came up empty handed looking through entertainment sites like E!Online. The whole thing was an internet hoax. I was curious how an internet rumor could be spread so quickly, so I did a little research. Apparently, some Bozo posted on Wikipedia that Sinbad had died, and that was all it took.

A word of advice: Wikipedia will let any moron post information on their website as "fact," so never use it as a source of information. Sure, it has some factual stuff on there, but you never know what you are going to get. Wikipedia did remove the incorrect information about Sinbad being dead and have locked his profile from being edited by new users.

Brad Delp Update: Apparent Suicide

According to police, Brad Delp, lead singer of Boston, committed suicide. Toxicology tests by the state medical examiner's office showed that Delp committed suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning. Police said Delp had sealed himself inside a bathroom with two charcoal grills sometime between 11:30 p.m. Thursday and Friday afternoon (March 8th or 9th), when he was found by fiancee Pamela Sullivan.

Does it have to be ruled suicide just because a guy is trying to cook a few brats in his bathroom? What guy hasn't done that? Sadly, he probably just forgot to turn on the vent.

Culinary Herb is World Wide Live

The stat tracking website I use has a feature that shows a map of where traffic to my blog is coming from. I had never paid attention to the particular function before, but I decided to look at it this afternoon. I was a little surprised to see that I had visits from across the globe. I think it's pretty cool that some dork like me can write stuff that people in India read, or at least click on by accident. Of course, it's amazing how many web hits you can generate by just posting "Claire Danes in boxers" or "Daniella Sarahyba nude." That last sentence alone will probably generate traffic for the next two days.

It's Getting Hot in Here: Scranton Style

I didn't mix this video, but the kid that did really did a good job. A little tribute to one of my favorite shows, The Office.

Suicide Squirrels

By Alan Gomez, USA TODAY

Every year, Neil Engelman carefully collects his data, stands before his company's board of directors and is asked the same question: What caused more outages? The lightning or the squirrels?

Four of the past five years, the answer has been the squirrels, says Engelman, vice president of operations for the Lincoln Electric System in Nebraska. Nebraska is not alone. Many states are grappling with a big increase in the number of power outages caused by squirrel electrocutions.

Squirrels that fry themselves on power lines and transformers cause tens of thousands of blackouts every year.

"It's serious when it causes power outages to 50-60,000 people," said Cathy Engel, a spokeswoman for PECO, which provides electricity to the Philadelphia area.

Among recent outages:

• A squirrel caused a power outage in October that shut down Merced College, southeast of San Francisco, for half the day.

• In January, a squirrel cut power to 4,500 customers in Amarillo, Tex.

• Hundreds of gallons of raw sewage poured into Mobile Bay in Alabama after a squirrel cut power to a sewage lift station there.

Stopping the squirrels is not easy.

"Those guys are awfully clever," said Tim Fox with Ameren, which provides electricity to St. Louis-area homes and businesses.

"When they want to get into something, they do," Fox said.

Squirrel guards have been placed on many transformers, but squirrels adapt to the technology, forcing the utilities to switch to different forms of what's known in the business as "wildlife abatement technology."

"Whenever we think we've got them figured out, they try something else," Engelman said.

Claire Danes & Patrick Wilson GAP Commercial

Claire Danes doesn't look half bad dancing around in a pair of boxer shorts. The thing that amazes me though, most of the responses I'm getting on youtube.com are from women that like the commercial because of Patrick Wilson. Go figure.

This GAP ad features Claire and Patrick dancing to the tune of "Anything you can do, I can do better" from the Broadway musical, Annie Get Your Gun. Ethel Merman's voice is hard to miss. The ad was directed by LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE directors JONATHAN DAYTON and VALERIE FARIS.

RIP: Brad Delp Lead Singer of Boston

I think Boston's self-titled debut album ranks in the top ten of all time. It was the first CD that I ever bought for an album that I already owned on cassette back in the day. Brad had a great voice that is probably recognized by more people than knew his name. The band's official website was taken down today and replaced with a single sentence, "We've just lost the nicest guy in rock and roll." Brad was 55.



Brad's Memorial on Find-A-Grave

The Official Boston Website

Borat

I liked Borat better when he was still the lead singer for Queen.

RIP: Captain America 1941-2007

Like Superman and countless other comic book heroes, I have the feeling he'll be back before too long.

2007 Beale Street Music Festival Lineup

Here is the complete lineup for the 2007 Beale Street Music Festival.

Click Here for the Offical Website.

Friday, May 4

• The Allman Brothers Band
• Three 6 Mafia
• Koko Taylor
• Gym Class Heroes
• Gov’t Mule
• Social Distortion
• Richard Johnston
• The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
• Jerry Lee Lewis
• Chevelle
• Hubert Sumlin & Willie "Big Eyes" Smith
• Plain White T’s
• The Derek Trucks Band
• North Mississippi Allstars
• Popa Chubby

Saturday, May 5

• Steely Dan
• Godsmack
• George Thorogood
• Bobby "Blue" Bland
• The Bar-Kays
• Wolfmother
• The Ohio Players
• Walter Trout & The Radicals
• Kenny Wayne Shepherd
• Taking Back Sunday
• Taj Mahal
• Ryan Shaw
• Kelley Hunt
• Old Crow Medicine Show
• Jack’s Mannequin
• The John Butler Trio
• Alvin Youngblood Hart
• Eddie Floyd
• Hawthorne Heights
• Keller Williams
• David "Honeyboy" Edwards
• One Less Reason
• The Duhks
• Daddy Mack Blues Band

Sunday, May 6

• Counting Crows
• John Legend
• Hinder
• Elvin Bishop
• Barenaked Ladies
• Corrine Bailey Rae
• DAUGHTRY
• Tab Benoit
• Guster
• Edwin McCain
• Project Pat
• Backdoor Slam
• Umphrey’s McGee
• Ann Peebles
• Papa Roach
• Watermelon Slim
• Billy Lee Riley
• Egypt Central
• The Lee Boys
• James "Super Chikan" Johnson

Big Butter Jesus: Heywood Banks

If you're ever on I-75 between Dayton and Cincinnati, you can see this monstrousity from the interstate. What makes the whole thing even funnier is that there is a gigantic adult books and novelty store called Hustler-Hollywood on the other side of the interstate.

Hey, You're Crazy Bitch

Britney Spears is now one of the family, and Uncle Charlie is so proud.

Okay, I added the X. Supposedly, the dumb bitch actually did scrawl a "666" on her forehead before attempting suicide with a bed sheet, but I couldn't help but think of Patty Krenwinkel and Leslie Van Houten when I saw this pic.

If she doesn't die first, I'm hoping there will be a tear-jerking comeback on Oprah. I imagine that Oprah will bring in Tom Cruise to offer his advice to Britney on the wonders of Scientology right before Britney loses it again and guts Tom like a fish.

Chuck E. Cheese

I didn't know that I hated Chuck E. Cheese until I took my daughter there about a month ago. What a nightmare. Kids were running around like crazy, the food was overpriced and terrible, and my daughter was plunking tokens left and right into games that lasted about thirty seconds each. My parents used to complain about me wasting money at the video arcade when I was younger, but I could at least play Galaga or Ms. Pac-Man for at least a couple of hours with one quarter. Anyway, my daughter had a good time, and that was the most important thing. I just told her that next time we go there, we're going to eat lunch somewhere else first.

Charlie Hodge

Charlie was a close friend of Elvis. He was the guy that handed Elvis the scarves that got tossed to women in the crowd and the guy that was actually playing guitar while Elvis strummed away on an instrument that didn't have any amplification. Charlie passed away one year ago on March 3rd. Now who's going to hand The King his scarves at the Elvis 30th Anniversary Concert later this year in Memphis?

MOVIE REVIEW: Babel

This movie makes a Shakespearean tragedy look like Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. The basic plot depicts the misfortunes of four disparate groups of people: an American husband and wife struggling to survive in Morocco after the woman has been hit by a stray bullet, a nanny that illegally enters Mexico with two small children in order to see her son’s wedding, a rebellious Japanese girl trying to find her identity as police search for her father, and two young boys in a small African village that must suffer the consequences of a tragic accident. Although they are separated by oceans and continents, the stories of these people are all intertwined.

Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett, the only recognizable actors in the film, play the American couple. Brad Pitt is in his mid-40’s now, and he looks every bit of fifty in this film. I’m not sure if his natural age is showing, the makeup was authentic looking, or a combination of the two, but I believe his appearance made his role more believable. I don’t necessarily dislike Brad Pitt, but you have to question a guy that is willing to stick his manhood in a space that was once occupied by Billy Bob Thornton. Cate Blanchett is believable in any role.

The shooting of the American woman is the link between the stories and actually the cause for the other tragedies. I’m not sure what the filmmaker’s intentions were, but I found myself being angry and believing that with the exception of the American couple and the small children being transported into Mexico, all of the suffering by the characters in this movie was caused by their own stupidity, and they deserved every horrible thing that happened to them. I doubt that some liberal Hollywood producer was trying to evoke those emotions from the audience, but if that was his intent, then the guy is a genius.

Although I think this was a very well written and intriguing movie, there is not a single light-hearted or upbeat frame in the entire 2 hour and 30 minute runtime. Still, I never found myself bored or wanting to turn it off. The events and characters are interesting enough to make watching the film worthwhile.