Ding Dong the Dick is Dead

God will have no mercy on you.

Heidi Klum Christmas Commercial

UPDATE (12/26/06): This video received the honor for being #53 on YouTube Favorites of the Week in the People-All category, and #36 in the same category for English only videos.

They show this Victoria's Secret commercial twice during each rerun of CSI on Spike TV. Spike typically shows three reruns (or more) every night, and I watch them all, so I've been seeing this commercial about six times every night, and it just isn't enough. So, I decided to post it for myself and watch it whenever I want. It has a very Marilynesque quality.

Call me crazy, but I think Heidi is way hotter now than she was ten years ago, and has definitely achieved MILF status.

Merry Christmas, KISSMAS, Festivus & Happy New Year

Or whatever holiday you celebrate.

Ron Springs & Everson Walls

Ron Springs played for the Dallas Cowboys for six seasons. He was a solid player that quietly backed up Tony Dorsett during those six years. Ron still lives in Dallas and is now suffering from diabetes and kidney failure. Ron has been on dialysis trying to get healthy enough to undergo a kidney transplant.

During the search for a kidney donor, it was discovered that Ron's son Shawn, a cornerback for the Washington Redskins, was a match. However, Ron refused to accept his son's kidney. The transplant procedure would have ended Shawn Springs' professional football career. Things weren't looking too good for Ron until an old team mate and friend, Everson Walls, was also found to be a match. Walls has agreed to donate a kidney to his old Cowboy mate.

"Everson Walls is my dad's best friend and somebody who taught me a lot about being a cornerback in the NFL," Shawn Springs said.

Everson Walls ended his career with the New York Giants, and I remember being really upset that he left the Cowboys, because he was one of my favorite players, and he didn't leave under the best of circumstances. Walls went on to get a Super Bowl ring with the Giants under coach Bill Parcells, something Walls would have never achieved with the Cowboys as they were going through some lean years at the time.

Everson is doing a really good thing donating his kidney to a man that probably wouldn't live long without it, so I guess it's time for me to forgive Everson for joining the enemy twenty years ago.

Bulgarian Man Survives Blood Alcohol Level Twice The Fatal Limit

A Bulgarian man presented at the local emergency room with a blood alcohol level so high the doctors checked the level 5 times. The man had a reading of 0.914, or almost double what is considered to be the lethal limit. Notice, I said LETHAL limit, not LEGAL limit. The legal limit in most of the US is .08, and the lethal limit (the point at which the body shuts down and dies) is 0.55. However, this guy was still walking around and communicating at .914.

This isn't exactly a new story. I think it happened almost a year ago, but it is new to me. My God! This guy had more alcohol in him than Nick Nolte, Wynonna Judd, and Mel Gibson combined.

R.I.P. Peter Boyle 1935-2006

Puddinnaarriiiiiiiiitz!

Mother has Her Son Arrested for Playing with his Christmas Present Early

(COLUMBIA, S.C.) - A fed-up mother had her 12-year-old son arrested for allegedly rummaging through his great-grandmother's things and playing with his Christmas present early.

The mother called police Sunday after learning her son had disobeyed orders and repeatedly taken a Game Boy from its hiding place at his great-grandmother's house next door and played it. He was arrested on petty larceny charges, taken to the police station in handcuffs and held until his mother picked him up after church.

"My grandmother went out of her way to lay away a toy and paid on this thing for months," said the boy's mother, Brandi Ervin. "It was only to teach my son a lesson. He's been going through life doing things and getting away with it."

The boy's mother said he faces an expulsion hearing at his school Wednesday. Rock Hill Police Capt. Mark Bollinger said the boy took a swing at a police officer assigned to the school last month. He has been suspended from school since then.

Police did not release the boy's name.

The boy's case will be presented to Department of Juvenile Justice officials in York County, who will decide what happens to him, Bollinger said. His mother hopes he can attend a program that will finally scare him straight.

"It's not even about the Christmas present," she said. "I only want positive things out of it. There's no need for him to act this way. I'd rather call myself than someone else call for him doing something worse than this."

Pig Tossing?

December 7, 2006 (WEST POINT, Miss.) - When pigs fly, indeed. Kevin Pugh, 20, of Cedar Bluff, has been fined $279 for tossing a pig over the counter at the Holiday Inn Express in West Point on Nov. 12. Pugh pleaded guilty Tuesday in city court to a charge of disturbing the peace.

West Point Police Lt. Danny McCaskill has said Pugh didn't know the employees of the hotel. There was no evidence intoxication was a factor.

No one was hurt, including the pig, officers said.

"This was the silliest thing I've ever seen," McCaskill said. "Almost every officer we had was involved because the incidents kept happening at different hours."

McCaskill said Pugh was accused of walking into the hotel and throwing the 60-pound pig over the counter.

"He said it was a prank," McCaskill said. "It must be some redneck thing, because I haven't ever heard of anything like it."

McCaskill said there have been four late-night incidents involving animal-tossing at West Point businesses. Twice a pig was tossed and two of the incidents involved possums.

All four of the disturbances took place between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m., McCaskill said.

Pugh is accused in a second animal-throwing incident at a Hardee's restaurant. He has pleaded innocent to disturbing the peace in that case and will appear in city court on Dec. 19.

Woman Sentenced for Condom Explosives

A former stip club waitress was sentenced to five years supervised released after mailing threatening letters and condoms filled with explosive materials to people at her former places of employment. Her reason for mailing these items was that she was tired of being mistreated by men.

Uh, maybe being a waitress at a strip club wasn't the best place to work if she wanted respect from men. Click the pic to read the full story.