Jim Carrey Impersonates David Caruso on Letterman

I'm not a big Jim Carrey fan, but his impersonation of David Caruso is spot on. The first video is of David Caruso one liners from CSI Miami, and the second video is of Jim Carrey's impersonation of Caruso on Letterman.

Britney Spears and Her Twin Brother

Happy Mardi Gras!

Fat Tuesday is here once again, and I'm stuck in an office programming a CNC vertical mill. Here's a pic from Mardi Gras 2001, the last time I got to join the festivities. I'm the one in the Paul Stanley makeup. I had a reason for touching up my lipstick, but I'm not really sure what my friend's boyfriend was doing.

SI's Daniella Sarahyba Almost Nude KISS Tribute

Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, Daniella Sarahyba, recently did a photo shoot wearing nothing but a painted body suit of the four faces from the KISS solo albums. I first thought this was some sort of publicity stunt by Gene the Twinkie Machine, but it turns out that Daniella is really a fan of the band despite being only two months old when KISS released their twentieth album in 1984. You can see the rest of the photos here:
Daniella Sarahyba or click the pic above.

David Letterman Shaves Ben Roethlisberger

I've seen some strange things on David Letterman over the years, but this has to rank among one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen on the show. There is no doubt that Ben needed that shit cut off of his face, but he's a bold man for letting David Letterman do the shaving.

Cooking Show or Adult Entertainment?

There is a show on TLC called Take Home Chef. The show has an Aussie named Curtis Stone that picks out strange women in grocery stores and fixes dinner for them and their husbands/boyfriends. Now, I have seen one or two adult movies when I was younger, and I couldn't help but notice how much the Take Home Chef resembled a popular adult movie download site called The MILF Hunter.

Both shows have the star picking up a mother (single or married) and sweet talking them into having fun in front of the cameras. The major difference between the two shows is what happens once each guy gets the moms out of the grocery store. Curtis, the Take Home Chef, takes the mother home and cooks a meal for her and her family. The MILF Hunter has a different idea about what "cooking" means.

Below are a few clips from the beginning of the The Take Home Chef. Notice that Curtis sneaks up on the unsuspecting mother, gets her to agree to going back to her house, buys a bunch of beer and aphrodisiac type foods and crawls into her vehicle with her. I always heard that grocery stores were a great place to meet women, and Curtis proves that as a fact week after week.

REVIEW: The Departed

This movie is completely different from anything Martin Scorsese has ever made. I’m not totally certain if that is a good thing or not. The cast includes Jack Nicholson, Martin Sheen, Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon, Alec Baldwin, and Leonardo DiCaprio. I’m a pretty big fan of Nicholson and Sheen, but I can usually take or leave the other guys; however, I think all of the acting in this movie is pretty good. Even Leonardo DiCaprio seems to have redeemed himself a little from all of that bullshit he made in the late 90’s.

The basic plot of the movie from IMDB.com:
Years ago, a powerful Irish mafia figure (Nicholson) placed a small selection of his youngest, brightest men into the Massachusetts Police Academy as cadets. Their purpose is to eventually rise within the prestigious ranks of the city's police department, to serve as the eyes and ears of their boss. While somewhere else, a young cadet (DiCaprio) was assigned with an equally dangerous task: infiltrate the Irish syndicate headed by the man sending in his own to the Boston Police. Now, one cadet (Damon) is an up and coming police official with a torn allegiance to his job and to the criminal mastermind that put him there. While the other cadet is the trusted number two of that man, only finding his professional duties are becoming blurred with his current state. But new clues have lead to unfortunate discoveries, when both sides realize they're being watched by the enemy. It's now all just a matter of time before the men assigned to find out whose the infiltrator, could come to a bloody end when someone's identity may be revealed.

The Departed is two hours and thirty minutes long, which is forty-five minutes too long in my opinion. A lot of the plot drags, and I found myself somewhat bored at times. However, the final fifteen minutes of the movie were so twisted and shocking that I was left asking myself, “What the fuck just happened?” I wasn’t confused. It was obvious what happened, but I was not expecting the movie to end the way it did. I wouldn’t say it was as shocking as the end of The Sixth Sense, but close.

After seeing the ending, I wanted to go back and watch parts of the movie again. Unfortunately, I rented the movie from a hotel pay-per-view, so I had no way of doing that. I am leaning towards the opinion that the slow parts of the movie were worth sitting through. This flick would be worth renting in my opinion, and I may rent it again to see if it’s better the second time around, but I wouldn’t fork out $20 to buy it.

The Departed is being released on DVD tomorrow, Tuesday, Feb. 13th.

Anthony Bourdain Comments About Rachael Ray

I don't expect that Anthony Bourdain is very famous outside of the culinary world, but I have become a big fan of his recently. Anthony has been somewhat of a reluctant celebrity chef and author for over thirty years. Unlike more popular celebrity chefs such as Emeril Lagasse and Bobby Flay, Anthony is a hard living guy that makes no excuses for his heavy drinking, smoking, or brash personality. What I like most about Anthony is that he is a genuine person, and what you see is what you get. There is no bullshit with this guy.

Anthony currently has a show on the Travel Channel called No Reservations. The show is not a cooking program but more like an adult's only version of Rachael Ray's Tasty Travels without the annoying voice, big mouth, and big ass. In No Reservations, Anthony travels the world and samples cuisine from various cultures. Sometimes Anthony can be seen crawling out of bed with a hangover to have a smoke before heading off to the next culinary adventure. If Anthony doesn't like a meal, he is not afraid to criticize it. If he thinks the food is shit, he calls it shit, and he has the culinary training and credentials to make such judgements.

Recently, Anthony posted a blog about several of the celebrities on The Food Network, including Ray Ray. Anthony's comments about Ray Ray expressed the same sentiments I have had about her for the past year. The more I see her, the more I dislike her, but she's not going away any time soon. Here are Anthony's thoughts on Ray Ray:

RACHAEL: Complain all you want. It’s like railing against the pounding surf. She only grows stronger and more powerful. Her ear-shattering tones louder and louder. We KNOW she can’t cook. She shrewdly tells us so. So...what is she selling us? Really? She’s selling us satisfaction, the smug reassurance that mediocrity is quite enough. She’s a friendly, familiar face who appears regularly on our screens to tell us that “Even your dumb, lazy ass can cook this!” Wallowing in your own crapulence on your Cheeto-littered couch you watch her and think, “Hell…I could do that. I ain’t gonna…but I could--if I wanted! Now where’s my damn jug a Diet Pepsi?” Where the saintly Julia Child sought to raise expectations, to enlighten us, make us better--teach us--and in fact, did, Rachael uses her strange and terrible powers to narcotize her public with her hypnotic mantra of Yummo and Evoo and Sammys. “You’re doing just fine. You don’t even have to chop an onion--you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing…Just sit there. Have another Triscuit…Sleep….sleep….”

Pure genious and pretty ballsy considering that he has an upcoming show on the Food Network. I have no doubt that if Anthony and Ray Ray cross paths in the FN hallway, he'll make the same comments to her face.

You can visit Anthony's website by clicking his pic above.

Here's a clip of Anthony in Vietnam eating a cobra heart that is still beating. I doubt Emeril has the nuts for this.

Anna Nicole Smith Dead

No big shocker, but I always think it's tragic when somebody dies so young. Her having a newborn makes it even worse. I'm curious to know what the autopsy results will reveal. I'm thinking suicide or accidental overdose at the least. I suppose her death will immortalize her to some extent.

Maybe Anna Nicole and Marilyn Monroe are having a conversation somewhere in the great beyond and actually understand each other.

Gene Simmons and Nicholas Cage

Is Nick Cage preparing to star in a Gene Simmons biography? Not likely. Perhaps Gene has started licensing his hairdo as part of the KISS empire.

The Alpha MILF Exposed

My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?

Dying Knievel Makes Final Leap to End Feud with Stuntman Son

AS father and son, they have long been considered too alike to be friends. But now that Evel Knievel, the legendary stuntman, is preparing for death, he has ended a 30-year feud with his daredevil son Robbie.

The 68-year-old motorcycle ace, who risked his life for years in spectacular leaps over buses, canyons and sharks, is girding himself to “pass over his final jump” at home in Florida, Robbie said last week.

His father has pulmonary fibrosis and a morphine pump stapled to his abdomen to ease the pain from lung disease and the 35 bones he has broken.

“He is dying, we are preparing for it. He is ready to meet God and ask him why he made some of his jumps too short,” said his 44-year-old son.

Knievel, who was once jailed for reckless driving, “is finding peace with people around him and, at last, that includes me”, said Robbie, who has established his own reputation for hard living and daring stunts.

“At least we are talking and that is more than we have done since he kicked me out of home when I was teenager. Before that there were years of arguments — I had been jumping on my bike since I was tiny but he didn’t want me to follow in his footsteps,” said Robbie.

In the 1960s Robert Craig Knievel, nicknamed “Evel” while in prison for theft, paved the way for today’s “extreme” sports. A former skiing champion from Montana, he escaped his life of safe-cracking and selling life insurance policies to asylum inmates when he wore a white leather jumpsuit copied from Liberace, the Las Vegas entertainer, and jumped 90ft across a pit filled with rattlesnakes. He became a massive star.

He set many records but broke more bones. He was in a coma for 28 days after failing to clear the fountains at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. He caught his wheel on the last of 13 buses parked side by side at Wembley Stadium in 1975, crashing but still limping to the microphone to announce a short retirement.

By his own account Knievel has lived to the full, blowing a £20m fortune, bedding 2,000 women including eight in one day, and soaking his chest with whisky and setting it alight for a joke in a Washington bar.

He was friends with Elvis Presley and Lee Marvin, who said Knievel was “the cool tough guy we all love playing on the screen, the genuine article”.

Now Robbie has one last record to break. He wants to make his own farewell jump, in the summer of 2008, across a stack of double-decker buses in Wembley Stadium: “I am not competing with my father, not exactly. But it’s the right way to honour his amazing courage.”